#HugoFerreira, 37, plead guilty to raping and severely beating his eight-day-old daughter, who later died. He said he would give her something to “cry about” before he killed her. You would expect the world to stop. You’d expect South Africa to stop, yet this was little reported in the media this week and will not even come close to making Acumen Media’s top stories. Instead, we were busy giving America the middle finger.

I’m Tonya Khoury and I watched, with gaping jaw, as SA didn’t pull a zap sign at Merica, it pulled three … in one week! It turns out, #FerilCyril is somewhat, um, passive aggressive. Yes, that’s the term. It would be funny, if it weren’t so very scary, well it’s still funny if you’ve got a dark sick sense of humour dredged from the deep gut of social media and news headlines. Humour that has you so cynical you can’t tell a conspiracy from a ruse.

The most obvious zap was #EbrahimRasool. Cupcake said that there should be no fuss or fanfare for the fetching of our ambassador. Except, of course, the bussed-in rent-a-crowd with ANC colours and keffiyehs who brought Oliver Tambo airport to a standstill. Listen, I’m more pro-Palestinian than the next guy but even I know that that stint was orchestrated. I wish we were that brave. I wish #EbrahimRasool spoke for SA, but he doesn’t, he’s a pawn in a game of #TheREASON. #TheMiddleFinger. In a retaliation that was worthy of a chuckle, Merica sent #BrentBassool111 as the American ambassador to South Africa. A known Zionist, with the Israeli flag pinned to all his social media profiles. Funny right? Well, if it wasn’t so serious. The #BattleOfAmbassadors and #MiddleFingers. There is speculation of who the replacement for Rasool would be, now that he has been declared #PersonaNonGrata by the US of A. The DA touted dinosaur (but general good guy) #TonyLeon and murmurs in the cadre corridors suggested Lindiwe #Medusa Sisulu. That’s so funny, oh come on South Africa, it’s Friday. Have a laugh. That’s a serious #MiddleFinger and not just to Trump.

Then there was the attempt to rename #SandtonDrive to #LeilaKhalidDrive, another middle finger. If successful it would mean the American Embassy’s address would have the freedom fighter and US named “terrorist” Khalid mentioned in every correspondence addressed to their Embassy. #PassiveAggressive much?

And then, Juliaaaaaaasssss. You can always count on #Malema. He went and sang that disgusting song on #HumanRightsDay, just in case Elon didn’t get the message the first five hundred times. That wasn’t even the zap sign. The middle finger came out when #Concourt, the highest court in the land, told Afriforum, again, that this song was a “struggle song” and did not result in any subsequent deaths of farmers. We are still here my dear South Africa. There were also cabinet meetings to table and discuss “misinformation” about the non-existent #WhiteGenocide. We are told that the farmers have started to queue up to leave sunny SA, that’s if you believe the likes of Roets and Kriel. I don’t but you might. No farmer is leaving his land in SA, if you show me one genuine application, I will be astonished. If I know one thing about the volk, they love this country more than any one of us.

Look I hate writing about this subject, I always get hammered by my countrymen but ask yourself some serious questions. Is the ANC really coming for your house? Do you even own your house? Doesn’t FNB own it? Because that is the situation for most South Africans. But what if you don’t own the land? In rural Zululand where I live and OWN a home, I don’t own the land. The land belongs to the Zulu nation and I have a ninety-nine-year lease. I pay for the privilege to live here, not only by putting my cash in, but also by working in the community and helping to uplift the region, and that applies to all of us here. Guess what? It’s paradise, almost. Well, I could be overlooking the sea, but the powers here decided that the dune is protected, and no one may interfere with mother nature’s laws. You may say I’m romanticising my country. I’m not. You may be giving your country a hard time for nothing. Do we have to keep the ANC in check; yes indeed, we are doing just that, in a democratic way. Slow and clunky but we wade through it. Are there really 142 race laws purely against white people or are they laws to put in place to attempt to do what everybody else has failed to do. Regardless, I do know this, Malema got real death threats this week. And from my own experience, I know they were real. Not all zaps are necessary.

There was a revolting post from #DanRoodt who insinuated that the death of the pilot who crashed the Impala Jet was black diversity hire who was underqualified for the job. Except that he wasn’t black or a diversity hire. James O’Connell was a highly decorated pilot, serving as a flight instructor when he plunged to his death. Roodt used the failed attempt at a difficult manoeuvre called a ‘dirty role’ as race bait. #MiddleFinger and #DirtyTricks Roodt #TsekMan!

South Africa is embroiled in a race war that doesn’t exist. Can’t you see they’re playing with you? #RamaZapster told us, via his weekly mailer, to unite as a country and to fight disinformation. A mailer, cute, do we still read them? They were a thing from lockdown weren’t they? That was five years ago. Middle Fingers!

The trial of the year, and that’s saying something when a story like #HugoFerriera doesn’t make the news, the #JoshlinSmithTrial has consumed my very late nights this week. Firstly, can we please make Judge Nathan Erasmus our president. Stat! I am in love with this man. He takes zero zaps and even told the one translator that he doesn’t appreciate his #PassiveAggression. He is patient, but only to a degree, and he’s a proper type A personality: if it’s not being done efficiently enough he’ll do it himself. That goes for microphones that aren’t working, for incompetent translators, bad paperwork, and advocates that take too long or use too many words. You name it, Judge Erasmus is on it. He schooled Rens, the shaky state’s witness. The effects of drugs came across on screen like a horrific documentary as we watched #LourentiaLombaard’s testimony unfold and unravel. Every single day she was sick and had to be escorted off the podium in what looked like a series of panic attacks. She’s turned state witness and with all the tik and mandrax abuse her brain is fried. If your question is longer than ten words, Rens forgets what you said at the beginning. This left frustrated legal minds shaking their talking heads. It was down to the Judge, time and time again, to reset the course and to keep the painful testimony moving forward. The translators ranged from empathic and downright precious to completely incompetent and utterly useless. It was so bad that even I could translate better and ek kan not die taal gooi. That is terrifying, imagine if this wasn’t a high-profile case and a translator was really necessary, because, as we know most of the nation speaks Afrikaans (even though Ernst and Kallie will have you believe otherwise). Under cross-examination, Rens folded like an old deck chair under the weight of an elephant. The defense flipped the script and said that it was actually Rens who was the mastermind in selling #JoshlinSmith to a Sangoma for money. Rens was way out of her depth, and we almost stopped believing her. To the point that the Judge told her that if he didn’t believe her testimony and after all the other evidence has been presented, she will be judged as complicit, and she will go to jail. No passive aggression here. Just facts china. That’s #JudgeNathanErasmus. The next witness is one of the key cops, another #Lombard but with one A. He’s brilliant, he translates himself. It’s ridiculous. Anyway, he goes on to confirm most of Ren’s statements. The plot thickens. I’ll keep watching so you don’t have to, but I do encourage you to see the Judge in action. It will fix your patriotism.

Let’s wrap up SA as your weekend is calling. There were several horror stories: twenty-six trafficked Ethiopians were found barely clothed running down the streets of #LombardyEast after escaping from a locked house. Zuma tried to escape his R29m legal bill, he didn’t, but he did, you know what I mean. There was a major floor crossing from ANC to DA in Western Cape. Steve #Hofmeyr flopped and had to cancel his gig, no man it wasn’t at Spur. They tried to ban weed gummies for four days, and then they bounced back, back again. Our country did what it does best: freeing the zol and winning sports like a Trump landslide. #Walaza sprinted to victory in an SA Under-20 record as he clocked 9.99 seconds in the Gauteng North Provincial Championships. #PrudenceSekgodiso in a spectacular performance, won gold in the 800m final in the World Athletics Indoor Championships in China. And then, Bafana Bafana beat Benin by two goals to put them in a strong place to qualify for the World Cup, which is going to be hosted in America. #MiddleFingers!

Across the borders: Namibia has a new president, and Americans need a visa to visit. Not sure that Namibia is high on the USA bucket list, but okay. #ZapSigns are us. Heathrow was shut down because of a fire and the amount of grief that caused was like a small tsunami in London. Wow, the Brits can whinge. If you believe it, two stranded astronauts were brought back to earth seamlessly and without muscle atrophy and a pretty poor looped seascape on the background video. They could have tried harder, except they actually chucked in a set of dolphins that apparently were not scared of the steam and immense heat that should have been coupled with the pods landing. America is a movie.

See, now I have to talk about Musk and Trump. Can someone save me please because the Canada and Greenland debacle is real. Even Putin issued words of warning that this is not a test. Putin himself has a bit of passive aggression as he left Trump on hold while he casually chatted to journalists, laughing that he had the naartjie waiting on the line. Can we have a word about Trump’s black marker pens? Is it just me or does the sound of him signing feel like nails on a chalkboard?

We have to address the #SignalGroupLeaks where war plans included a journalist from a B-grade magazine. The group included defence secretary #PeteHegseth, National Security Advisor Walz, Vice President Vance, CIA Director #JohnRatcliffe, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Treasury Secretary General Scott Bessent and editor Jeffrey Goldberg from a magazine called The #Atlantic. In the group was a set of instructions, co ordinates and other plans for the attack on the Yemeni Houthis. After a flurry of media activity, the Trump administration said that the group’s contents weren’t classified so Jeffrey went ahead and published all the screenshots, probably driving media sales up. Unlike Musk’s Tesla cars which are doing so very badly because people in America and elsewhere are doing #HorribleThings to Muskat’s fleet. Labelled as domestic terrorism, the perps will be locked up, perhaps even sent to Guantanamo Bay. That’s if you’re to believe the headlines.

While Elon was lamenting why he wasn’t on the Signal group, he also showed his new talent, building fidgets with dining cutlery. Even Karoline Leavitt, the press secretary, couldn’t deal with it as she stepped away slowly from the freak. I don’t get why people like this chop?

Things got weirder in the #WitHuis as we saw mixed martial arts fighter Conor McGregor appeal to Trump to save the white man in Ireland. He also said he should be prime minister. Guys when does the candid camera man pop up? Pull a middle finger.

Then KFC put out an ad that can only be described as a play on cannibalism. I’ve never wanted to buy fried chicken less in my life. What on earth is this about? This place is madness. Sadly, George Forman passed away, a great boxer who left a grill behind as his legacy. Yet, stranger things have happened. For example, an Egyptian lynx found its way across the border and mauled two Israeli soldiers. I don’t make this stuff up, I read the news, so you don’t have to. Which takes us to my dear #Gaza and the plight of the Palestinian people. No aid, no food, no water, no electricity, and no fuel has entered Gaza for weeks now. At least five hundred more people are dead, and as we count the aftermath of the destruction of Gaza, we learn that during the height of the war at least ten children have lost one or two limbs every day. When you read words like this, you have to give it to South Africa, even if it’s not for the right reasons. We are attempting to do the right thing. At the Oscars we saw a landmark event, where #NoOtherLand, a movie showcasing the plight of the Palestinians, won Best Documentary Feature. In the weeks that followed we saw #HamdanBallal, the director, kidnapped and beaten up by the IDF. I expected nothing less.

That wraps up the past week or so across SA. Ramadan is leaving and Eid celebrations are beckoning. I wish you peace and a healthy dose of patriotism. I’m Tonya Khoury and thank you for scratching the surface with me and Acumen Media.