Here’s a ridiculous fact: I don’t know who won best picture at #TheOscars2022, but I feel like I’ve been watching the event all week. I was never going to watch the #Oscars, largely because over the past good few years, their recommendations have been dreadful. Did you watch #LalaLand? Talk about bad musicals. And then it happened. The showstopper, literally! In case you were under a “Rock”, #WillSmith beat up #ChrisRock because he told a joke about Jade’s (Smith’s wife) hair.. He laughed initially but then he noticed his wife was not amused. Smith literally got up off his seat and went on stage and slapped Rock across the face. He then went back to his seat, with Jade, giggling at the side show. Then Smith started swearing at Rock, who in turn, took it on the chin and tried to make light of the situation. Later, when Smith got an academy award, he started apologising and crying like a child. Minutes later he is seen dancing up a storm with #Trevor Noah. #KidsJustSayNo. The memes were fun then the conspiracy theories kept me entertained. I love a good conspiracy… I read all sorts: Apparently Rock was wearing a #CheekPad. Pfizer was unveiling a new alopecia drug. And the ratings for the Oscars were so low that they needed this. Whatever, the world deserved a distraction. I thought it was a pretty poor show but that’s because I have so much more drama to deal with here at home.
Join me, Tonya Khoury, as we look at some #RealityTV by scratching the surface of the media with Acumen. It’s a shameless punt but if you check out our YouTube channel you’ll have memes for days. Have you subscribed yet?
Today, the 1st April, is generally a day for tomfoolery. I don’t even entertain #AprilFoolsDay, and I’m taking an executive decision and declaring #AprilFoolsDay a dead duck. I’m out, every word you read here is true, just laced with my opinion. The world is so strange you don’t have to make up stuff anymore. We’ll leave that to the Academy Awards, hey?
I’m afraid I have some hard truths in this documentary. Remember the lady who received a small fortune in error from #NSFAS? Remember this kid went on a spending spree to the tune of R800,000? Well today we know her name well, and her name is #SibongileMani and she was sentenced to five years in prison. Look, I know what you thinking, she shouldn’t have spent the money. But cast yourself back to the days when you were a student. I remember a free plate of slap chips being a big win. Imagine my 19-year-old self getting my hands on millions in an erroneous bank transaction. Would I have said something? Mmmh, Ok, probably because I’d have told my ma and she would have guided me, but I understand why Sibongile went #Kardashian and of course justice has to be served. In South Africa, these things happen all the time: fraud, corruption, people taking money that is not theirs. Off the top of my head and I’m adlibbing here: #KPMG, #McKinsey, #Steinhoff, #Zuma, #VBSLooters, #ZweliMkhize, #Bosasa, #Guptas … no need to add more because these combined probably stack up to well over a trillion rand that was blatantly stolen. Never once were they sentenced to any prison time and they certainly weren’t headlined as “thieves”. We use different words for this level of theft; we use words like #AccountingIrregularities or #IrregularExpenditure or #Shareholders. It wasn’t long before the social media mob felt the same unbalance I was seeing. #FreeSibongile started to trend and an anonymous gentleman (he used the name #MalcolmX) said he would cough up half a million of the R800,000 that was outstanding. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that #Sibongile shouldn’t be punished, but five years seems extreme when it wasn’t her error in the first place. You know who should get five years? The people who stole the money set aside for aid in Nelson Mandela Bay. Aid meant for children. The lack of that aid resulted in fourteen babies starving to death in Nelson Mandela Bay. That stolen aid resulted in over 16,000 families left without any money for food. A study by UCT unearthed that 48% of child hospital deaths are from malnutrition. Are the perpetrators going to get five years? Shouldn’t they be charged with murder or at least manslaughter? #ContinuityErrors in this #SAOmnibus.
The #DA brought a #MotionOfNoConfidence against #Ramaphosa, but it seems they picked the wrong time to place this segment in the drama we are watching. The motion failed, as it should, because the President is working hard South Africa. He has had a belter of a week! Let me breakdown the episodes of this series we’ve been watching.
Sometimes, most times, he is as quiet as a mouse, and other times, sometimes, he bulldozers like a #Buffalo. But all the changes were exciting. The President sat in the director’s chair and changed the plot in this awful drama. He appointed a new #PoliceCommissioner, #FanieMasemola, and #Kehle exited the stage without any applause or fanfare. Bathabile Dlamini said she would step aside if needed, to which the President replied, “It’s needed.” #ZandileGumede and twenty-one co-accused are in court. In this case the state has fourty-one witnesses to back up 2793 charges. Now that’s a show I’ll be watching. Gumede stripped #Ethekwini bare during her time as mayor and she had better see more than #FiveYearsInPrison.
That was a tasty treat wasn’t it? Want more? This is a blockbuster… grab your popcorn because #Zuma lost his final appeal. #BillyDowner will be part of the #ZumaTrial and that is happening in the next couple of weeks. #ComingSoon to a TV near you: #uBabaInCourt. I must confess I’m a little nervous – horror movies don’t come scarier than this – especially when it could be an outdoor theatre event. #LittleFiresEverywhere.
The second act. #AceMagashule’s bid to have charges for the #AceBestos case overturned was dismissed and #Mr10Percent has to fight the NPA himself. #RETZero #RamaphosaTwo.
#NomvulaMokanyane, I had almost forgotten about her. She is the reason we have such major water issues in our country. Her and uBaba launched a #WarOnLeaks years ago and all that created was a big gushing pipe leaking nothing but cash. Good news again, she has been booted out of the NEC. Adios, so much for “don’t forget to remember me”. #RamaphosaThree (starting to sound a bit like the #Rocky’s)
#Mkhwebane is getting ready to take to the stage for an impeachment proceeding. A new #ElectoralCommissioner is to be announced. #AdvocateKameshniPillay replaces #DaliMpofu. Ouch! what a plot twist. Don’t go to the bathroom yet, #TitoMboweni is implicated in the R50 million donation to Cuba. He also tweeted that he has no friends as his birthday came and went without gifts. It’s a cold world out there for a cracked actor. #BalekaMbeta is apparently done with politics. She was a b rate actress anyway. The Social Grant swindle uncovered over R89 million in Postbank theft. Surely that’s worth #FiveYears? #Mabuza held a #QandA and it was good to see him in a cameo as he is the Deputy President after all. #Nhlanhlalux was released on R1500,00. bail and the President also said he condemns vigilantism.
And then on to the finale: #Ramaphosa to testify at #SAHRC inquiry into the #Insurrection. I still bluntly refuse to use its international title #JulyRiots. Other good news included the drop in the #FuelLevy, largely because the country left the theatre and said they weren’t going to watch this show. My heavens, this was a feel-good story wasn’t it. I’m a little excited to get back into the theatre of dreams.
I have to tap-dance across borders to tell you that Putin’s advisors are too scared to advise him that he is losing the war and so they’re doing it via CNN. Putin pushes for his currency by only accepting rubles for gas and we have the head of Chelsea Football Club flying between Ukraine and Russia, like a homing pigeon, to deliver handwritten notes, in pidgin language, between #zelensky and #Putin. There is talk of #chemicalwarfare and there is a stark reality of starvation across many countries due to the egotistical war. Don’t worry too much though, because #ElonMusk is building his own social network. #Trump couldn’t get that right, so I wonder how it will play out for Musk?
To those of the Muslim faith I wish you a blessed Ramadan may your fast be easy and your sacrifices received.
I’m Tonya Khoury and you’ve just scratched the surface with Acumen Media
