Tatjana Smith, the nation’s princess, brought a smile to each South African as we watched her cut through the water like a dolphin. If you’ve seen a dolphin’s smile, you’ll know this is a great analogy. Tatjana, with her infectious smile and pretty eyes, brought us to tears. Yesterday was her last Olympic race as she gracefully exits from the sport. Thank you #TatjanaSmith for your grace, your spirit and your humbling words at the end of a magnificent career. You’re one good thing to come out of France. #OlympicHorrific.

Did you see the #OpeningCeremony? Well, it started as it’s meant to go on so they raised the flag upside down in the opening. And then the curtains rose to reveal the biggest drag parade I’d ever seen. This was crowned (literally) by a blue Smurf with a ginger beard dressed in nothing but blue paint and a garland of flowers draped around his protruding belly. Between bluey and the drag drop, somehow the world thought the scene was reminiscent of the #LastSupper and that there was a depiction of Christ in amongst all this crazy. I saw it; I dismissed it, because my brain couldn’t possibly align the two. All that money, the world’s attention, and they felt the best way to represent the Olympic games was with a Smurf and a guy’s genitals dangling in front of a kids face while the Smurf was being served up for dinner. The French called it “inclusivity” and it didn’t stop there. They went on to romanticise Marie Antoinette. So, while the world stared, wide-eyed and agape, as the Olympics became a gaping wound, we also learned that women weren’t allowed to wear hijabs unless they fought for it. They did fight for it and they won, but that wasn’t very “inclusive” was it Macron? It was, however, very inclusive to allow Israel into the games, but Macron wasn’t so generous with Russia, who was banned. The only good thing to come out of the opening ceremony is that #LadyGaga wore an ostrich feather number and those pink feathers were exported from some birds here in SA. I’m glad that was the limit of our contribution to an incredibly poor opening of an international event. #OlympicHorrific.

There were some crackers in the #Olympics, though. Simone Biles, the American athlete who didn’t compete in the previous games because of mental health issues stunned the world as she pirouetted into the air from a jump on a bench that looked impossible. I’m not a sports fan but the photos always keep me captivated; check out our YouTube video for some startling and tremendous shots.

Talking about a good shot, there is a shooting event where they use pistols (I don’t know why that surprised me): competitors don head gear and safety glasses and take aim at their target. Enter Turkey, and a guy wearing zero protection gear who shoves his left hand in his pocket … and a shot reverberates around the Olympic stadium. Some said Turkey sent a hitman to compete because he didn’t even blink. It was unnerving and very funny. His name is Yusuf, and apparently he only recently took up shooting after a particularly heated argument with his ex-wife. The 52-year-old mechanic turned up in his jeans and a T-shirt, shot a near perfect round and then asked if there was a smoking area nearby. After he won the Silver he stood emotionless on the Olympic podium and declared that he wants his dog back and wandered off. I really hope that story is true. #OlympicHorrific. Then there was a humongous faux pas! They played the wrong Korean anthem and announced the team from the Republic of Korea (South Korea) as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea).  Uncle Kim isn’t going to be happy. He is definitely not a sport fan. Smurfs aside, there was the water. We were, and still are, bleating about our water and lack thereof in Gauteng and then we saw the Seine River where the Olympians had to compete. That water is filthy and riddled with Ecoli, a testament to France and Macron’s shoddy leadership. Can you tell I’m not a fan? #OlympicHorrific.

So that’s our top story with over 700k engagements in a seven day period and #TeamSA is keeping us talking. Keep flying the flag high our heroes. #Olympics2024.

Let’s bring this summary home, what a week, hey SA? There was so much news I’m not sure I’m going to be able to fit it all in. Racism in our schools was a major chunk of our media. #PretoriaGirlsHigh hogged the spotlight with its #WhitesOnly WhatsApp group and the suspension of several pupils and the principal. The #EFF were crowing at the gates of the school all week making the story impossible to ignore. It is a strange story this one; the media refers to the incident as “micro aggressive racism”, what is that?

I was mulling over this story when #PinelandsSchool news broke, a story of deplorable behaviour amongst a group of school kids who took their younger peers, shoved them in cages and then auctioned them to the highest bidder in a mock #SlaveAuction. This story is so dark that I struggled to watch it. What is going on with our children? When are we going to address the massive elephant in the room. Our country needs to have tough and meaningful conversations about racism, our past and our future. This should be one of our curriculum subjects. Why are we trying to paper over our car crash of a past? #EndRacismInOurTime.

The focus didn’t leave our kids as we learned of learners from a Benoni school that drowned at a school event. There were no preventative or supervisory measures taken while our little ones drowned. This is not a new story. We also heard of a horror crash where fourteen of our children were killed in a vehicle collision with a train in Mpumalanga: the driver shot across the tracks trying to beat the train, and the rest is just statistics. There was more about our young generation. One Eastern Cape school reported that there are 31 pregnant girls. Thirty-one, in one school! Children having children. Children selling children, children hating children. We can do better #DepartmentOfEducation. Horrific.

Then there’s the #MissSouthAfrica story, what is that all about? There was a debate as to whether the strikingly beautiful #Chidimma is South African or Nigerian. This debate was raised because her father is Nigerian and, as you know, we’re a xenophobic nation. But then there was a twist. When her father was interviewed he said that his first visit to South Africa was in 2010, which meant our Miss SA should be fourteen but she’s actually 23, so was she born in SA or not? It’s a simple question, but one the organisers and our government can’t seem to answer. All the while a gorgeous girl gets her dreams trampled on or her dastardly plans scuppered? You decide. #MissSA.

It wouldn’t be a week in SA without politics and Zuma specifically. I’ve been reporting his headlines for as long as I’ve been in this industry. One thing JZ does have is stamina and an insatiable appetite for media headlines. The ANC expelled Zuma this week, and fair enough, you can’t have a member of one party heading up the opposition, right? Nope, Zuma will be contesting his expulsion in the next 21 days. Round and round we go. Of course that’s not all about uBaba. The stolen MK logo was back in court this week. The ANC are appealing the decision about the trademark and want ownership to be returned to the ANC. While our ruling party (sort of) are fighting over logos, the #GNU seems to have fallen apart. #Zille the terror refused to call our government one of “national unity”, instead she insisted that it was a “coalition” and that the DA pulling out meant the entire government had fallen apart. #Fikile #MinisterofAlles Mbalula, secretary general of the ANC, said that they were not begging Helen, if she wanted to leave, then she should. So, at the moment dear South Africa, we have a government without the DA, the EFF or the MK Party being in attendance. So those of you who voted for the smaller parties, good on you because those are the only people working right now. The rest are paying lawyers. #MakeItMakeSense.

There is so much news and my words are limited so I have to try and fit in several big stories. There is an Illegal military base in White River. Ninety-five Libyan trainees. Training for what exactly? Have they walked through White River at night? That’s all the training you need. This is South Africa guys, our day-to-day living is more than any military camp. Just take a taxi to town and talk to me again about needing training on how to defend yourself. Please! Welcome to South Africa, now duck rookie!

I must squeeze in my personal favourite story of the week: #AceBestos has expelled eleven members of his ACT party. Msinto, one of the axed members said they’d received communication from Magashule expelling them from the ACT “family organisation”. “We need to place it on record that we are not expelled from ACT, but have since resigned,” Msinto retorted. Ah! The implosion of an ACT. How apt. And finally, an incredible statistic: #OperationShanela have arrested seven hundred thousand people in little over one year. Almost a million people? Where did they put them all? If you’re arresting a million people a year and there is still a crime problem perhaps we’re not addressing the problem? Where’s #Groenewald? His work is cut out for him as Minister of Correctional Services.

Let’s skip across the continents, and apart from the #Olympics, Trump has hogged headlines again. This time at a black journalist council where a female journalist asked him how he intends to secure black people’s votes as he has such a racist rhetoric about African Americans. She also mentioned now that #Kamala Harris was in the race it would a great deal harder for Trump to secure the vote. Trump retorted immediately by saying that the journalist was rude and that she didn’t even say hello how are you? He said she must be from a #fakeNewsNetwork (yes he’s still using that line) and then he then went on to say he didn’t know Kamala was black. He said she was of Indian origin until last week when she “turned black”. Hindenburg and gasoline. Regardless of his appalling-ness he’s going to win isn’t he? God help us.

Ismail #Haniyeh, the political leader of Hamas, was assassinated by Israel while attending the inauguration ceremony of the Iranian president. He was part of the ceasefire negotiation envoy and Israel killed him in Tehran. What does that mean? I tell you what it means for me: I’m getting on a boat, back rolling off that boat into Sodwana’s crystal waters. There are whales for days, so there won’t be silence beneath the surface, there will be magic in my ears. I’m out, I’m Tonya Khoury, and thank you for scratching the surface with me and Acumen Media.