“What did Panyasa Lesufi do? He took your tax money to buy ill-fitting PEP store uniforms for untrained cadres and pretended that they were “crime wardens.” This was the comment from Jumping John #Steenhuisen, DA Leader. He also said that any member not willing to respect the party line regarding the #IsraelPalestine “conflict” is “free to leave” the organisation. This is after at least three DA members resigned and accused the party of censorship. So, things are going well there and how’s your week been?
It’s Friday, it’s time to #ScratchTheSurface of a week filled with electioneering. It made my head spin and I’m sure you’ve turned the radio down or skipped across your timelines knowing that I can read it for you. It appears we’ve woken a sleeping giant my fellow South Africans. The youth. They woke up as registration dates start to fill billboards and advertising slots. The number of registered voters is increasing rapidly now that the woke crowd are #WokeToVote.
Everywhere you turned there was politics and some stories were really funny. Last week I told you that when Zuma launched the #MKParty he was being a bit ambitious as he was still a member of the ANC. Now he has had to resign from his own launched party. Hey wena, you don’t just leave the ANC. Especially when they’ve batted for you on a firepool. This week #Zuma has been “suspended” from the ANC, which pretty much leaves him floating in the air like a balloon filled with hot air. Apt. When poetry meets life. During his campaigning for the new party, he made homophobic comments and that did not go down well, not in SA, maybe in Uganda but not in SA. So his son, probably the biggest instigator of the insurrection, started his own party called the #AGC – All Game Changers. What is going on? #TooWokeFireStoked. It’s all very entertaining as SONA (State of the Nation Address) is around the corner and everyone is wondering if Zuma is going to pitch. Yoh, we can give this oke airtime guys. On top of that the #JulyInsurrection court case saw a handful of unknowns appear in the court and we were emphatically told that Zuma’s arrest in July had nothing to do with the insurrection. Do they think we buy this crazy? We’re all stocked up over here guys, this crazy don’t sell. #ThaboMbeki came out with a scathing attack on #Zuma, sorry Thabo but you’re not really relevant anymore my friend in fact you’re now complicit. Less warra warra more doing! SA is #WideAwake, you do this every election year.
I watched khaki Carl Niehaus change his Twitter profile pic. It now has a very bright red background where he sits draped in a very flashy suit. Why is he not wearing a red beret now that he is firmly with the #EFF? He would have been dancing up a storm in his camo behind Zuma, bringing his knee highs. And now this, not an overall in sight. Who does this guy think he is? Oh ja, he’s the oke who pretended his mum was dead for an insurance scam and he is an utter clown regardless of what he is wearing. #EyesOnThePrize.
We’re going to have to break up this election narrative or you may leave. To be fair, I don’t even want to write about it, but I do, so you don’t have to.
#Groblersdal, remember the crowd of Boere that waved around the #ApartheidFlag? Here’s the back story. A security guard who worked for farmers Groenewald and Greef allegedly turned up for work a little more than tipsy. So, a father and stepson beat him up with a heavy object and then let a really vicious dog finish the job. The guard filmed it, so it’s now viral, and this ridiculous story has caused chaos in #Groblersdal with a stand off between the EFF and the friends of #Groenewald. So much so that Bheki (take the bloody hat off) Cele and Ronald (I’m a useless Minister of Justice) Lamola jumped to their toes and stood in front of the court house and blathered on about justice. I mean really, can they handle #PoliticalKillings that are becoming a statistic instead of electioneering in #Groblersdal. The boss of Rand Water was gunned down this week and Bheki and his hat were nowhere to be seen. We are way past these racial undertones, assault is assault. Klaar. No flags or red berets necessary. Do some work! #SleepingCabinet.
There is good news in this report I promise you, just keep reading. You won’t find it in the gaps where there are thousands applying for tertiary education, thousands that just won’t get in the door. It’s almost as if the government is saying: “Congrats on your matric and welcome to unemployment, don’t fret there’s R350 waiting for you.” It was around this time that #R750 started to trend. I thought this was a call for a more grant money because you know we paid 150 thousand dead people so there’s some cash due to the unemployed. Nope, it was about a woman who paid R750 for her hair edges. Social media schooled her and then it turned into a discussion about how expensive things are in general and how this silent inflation needs to stop. See? #WokeSA.
The #ZuluKing appointed his Prime Minister, who also wears shades at night. #CapeFires ran out of control, and we watched as #PringleBay turned into a ghost town. #MamaWinnie’s grandkids are fighting. #KPMG and VBS reach a deal, corporate corruption is alive and well. #Ramaphosa says he will sign off the #NHIBill before elections. And then there was #NalediPandering, who has now earned her stripes and she panders no more. My word she’s had a change in sentiment from the nation, hey? She called for an arrest warrant for #Netanyahu based on the same principles applied to #Putin’s warrant. No one is going to arrest either of them, and so we go around this circle of death. There was a #BBCInterview where the host said that Jewish people in South Africa feel threatened. As it turned out Howard Sackstein felt threatened as he wrote about wistfully looking at his suitcase and contemplating his exit from SA. Incidentally his profile still has the South African flag. The #BBC should check themselves; their credibility is out the door, they never even covered the #ICJCase until the ruling came out. #SelectiveJournalism. I was glad to see many Jewish South Africans set the record straight: to a degree everyone feels threatened in SA. Oh laugh, that was funny.
Today we watch as #ICJBreach trends across the world with footage of more bodies, hunger and displacement. #GenocideJoe Biden is threatening to attack Jordan next. We are truly in a world war we just haven’t given it the official name yet. There were rumours on social that #Netanyahu is moving into Lebanon now, not just parking on the border. Well, if he’s been given a permit, why would he stop? Regardless of the Israelis on the streets calling for the hostages to be returned and the end to the war. The world pulled all funding from UNRWA and the whole organisation is close to bankruptcy. The biggest aid gone before February. Why? There are rumours that some people in UNRWA were working for #Hamas. Naturally the world shut down the remaining life support system. There will be no #UNRWA by the end of February. Look SA did its best, it wasn’t good enough by a long shot, and that’s how the world works.
I told you I had good news so here’s a nugget for you. We stopped the auction of #Mandela’s stuff. It went on far too long and I think they should reverse all the sales that were made. It is revolting, but we stopped it. That’s us, South Africa, not the cops, not the ruling party, not even the opposition, you and me, that’s a victory. #WeWoking.
There’s so much news, let me speed up. A teacher raped a pupil at an “elite” school. Why do we have to use the word “elite” to draw attention to the heinous crime? I’ll tell you why, because this stuff happens every single day and we don’t pay attention anymore. Comfortably numb. An insurance scammer killed her son for six million. Edwin #DryTaps Sodi was rumbled in a #CarteBlanche expose. This is the guy that gifted us with #Cholera and then used his three companies to tender, yet again, for another job which he again didn’t do. #Mashatile (our deputy president) has to appear before the #IntegrityCommission – question – why does it exist? It’s a bit like the UN this thing, a lot of jaw and no substance. #SenzoTrial keeps rolling, ten years and counting. The #NPA have an issue with #KellyKhumalo but we’ve heard that story for ten years. The #CorruptionPerceptionIndex was released, and we are doing worse than we did since the last report. Did we need a White Paper for that? Ask any person on the street, save your typing fingers. The #ports are in a state of absolute havoc and the knock-on effect will hit us soon. Thank goodness the woke will vote. And then an elephant escaped in Mpumalanga. Imagine that! I would love to see it stomp past PEP stores and pick up John, who, after being taken to task on the PEP comment, said 90% of his kid’s clothes come from PEP stores. I love #PEP, they’re one of my favourite brands, and they’re the only affordable clothing, courier and homeware store in my town. I digress.
Here’s more good news, you know we were sort of ignoring #BafanaBafana in #AFCON because, well, they’re quite useless. Guess what? We made the quarter finals. Yes siree, today they are heroes after a penalty goal against #Morocco. We face Cape Verde next and I’m sure we’ll be watching as a nation again as we hope for the miracles of sport to become contagious.
Across the never-ending pond, #Zuckerberg said he’s sorry he didn’t protect our kids, and #KingCharles and Katey Waity were both in hospital and are both on the mend. BRICS members doubled in the past week, and #ImranKhan is off to jail for ten years and … #Elon put a chip in a person’s brain. What? He’s mad that oke, but not as mad as Kanye or Ye who, after posting salacious photos of girlfriend Bianca Censori, banned her from social media and then went off to have lunch with Kimmy. He had a stocking over his face at the time, not sure how he ate, but the truth is I don’t care and neither should you.
That’s it, I’m out, I’ve a weekend of diving ahead of me to purge all the electioneering nonsense in my brain. Stay Woke, Vote. I’m Tonya Khoury and thank you for scratching the surface with me and Acumen Media.