Guess what I’m writing about today; there is only one big story and it’s a ruse of a story.  A story with twists and turns and gangsters and manipulation and thuggery and failure and degeneration and darkness. So much darkness.  It’s the story of #WorkingInTheDark, the tale of #Eskoming.

I think I speak for the whole nation when I say ENOUGH! Stop #Eskoming around.  We see you; we are not stupid.  You put us on #Stage6 and here in my local town our electricity is off more than it’s on.  We live on a property with a big generator, so for the most part we have power but this week you cut out telecommunications.  That’s when reality bites hard.  Working in the dark is far better than not working in the dark, it’s not like dancing in the dark. #Eskoming

Let’s analyse this nonsense because it is nonsense, it’s a money-making racket.  Eskom wants us to pay 32% more for zero electricity.  I don’t make this stuff up, Eskom does.  It is so contrived, it’s not even worthy of a #Telenovela.  They turn the lights off and then say “give us more Randallas”.  They disconnect areas with “prepaid meters”  under the pretense that those very areas have illegal connections.  Here, at my place, they’ve moved us to a totally different region for power; a region that is over an hour away.  We used to be connected to a town 10kms away so why did they move us?  Turns out we pay our electricity and the other town doesn’t so now we are on “load reduction”.  Who comes up with these #eskoming terms?  I mean what is load reduction?  Do you take a rest while you’re carrying the load or do you just make your load lighter? But there is no need to worry folks because the President flew home and is “deliberating” the crisis and, according to Uncle #Gwede, three new IPPs are ready to go. They call them IPPs. Independent Power Producers. They should drop the “independent” bit because basically Patrice #Motsepe, Cupcake’s brother in law, is about to make a shedload of money.  It’s just a game folks and we are being played again!  As if to prove my point, #Ramaphosa told Biden that we know we are Africa’s largest contributor to the climate change thingy, and he would close plants ahead of schedule. So that’s what’s happening, early closure without a backup.   Are you bored to tears yet?  Stay with me because I have a plan, it’s a good one.  #TakeBackEskom

Fifteen years ago #Eskom was rated the most profitable and functional facility in the world.  Today it’s a bottomless hungry defunct gorge.  In 2015 #Ramaphosa said that within eighteen months, and I quote, “we will forget that power was an issue in this country”.  Liar!  Mantash tell us that neither he nor his family steal.  Just google him, go on, type in “Mantashe AND fraud” and you’ll find so many pages of stories ranging from state capture to mine meddling to … and how his nepotism gobbled up parts of this country.  But Ramaphosa is “still deliberating”.  You will not believe me but some people are calling for an inquiry – are you kidding, did you miss the #EskomEnquiry where Lynne Brown,Anoj Singh, Brian Molefe and Koko all danced on the hot seat as they were grilled by a commission. #Mbeki remembers, he remembers well as he drove home harsh words at the previous regime ie. Zuma and cadres.

Remember how we took to the streets to tell Zuma to waai?  Worked didn’t it?  Here’s the plan; we walk into Eskom with a bunch of clever people (citizens – not politicians – and no private sector #whatWhat), then move everyone off their desks, off the plants and sub-stations.  We bring in some great recruiters and make everyone reapply for their jobs.  In the interim we take the engineers amongst us, the very very smart smart people who know about #Eskoming, and we put them behind a desk and let the coal start moving.  First stop on the agenda #PutSouthAfricansFirst, (not that xenophobic drivel you’ve been sprouting by manipulating politicians). I’m talking about our own resources for our own country.  We get electricity (power, if you will) first.

Mozambique is a mere hour from me, it has no loadshedding. Guess who supplies them?  Go on I’ll wait …  us, South Africans.  We supply a #WholeMozambique and their electricity is just fine.  When I say fine, they’ve never heard of loadshedding.  Unlike South Africa who are here #eskoming.  I checked out the conversation on our smart Acumen technology and there are over half a million unique mentions of “load shedding” over the past seven days.  The reputation statistics stink with negative 80%.  The whole of South Africa hates Eskom and over three quarters of a million posts mentioned our rage.

I digress, back to the plan: We take our resource first, then what’s left we sell if we are able to.  We put a bunch of clever accountants.  (I know two great ones if you need them.) We work out cashflow and we “run the numbers” like boardroom style, not #ganGanStyle.  We don’t care how much we owe Mother Russia.  We, the citizens, don’t owe Russia or anyone anything, we want OUR POWER back!  That’s all we want to #TakeBackEskom.

From Megawatt park (currently #WattWattPark) we will move to the sources of electricity –  transformers, substations, every single set of electrical supply equipment – and ensure that they are protected.  No more R35m cable theft under our noses or great galloping fires outside of Roodepoort sub-station.  We protect those places like a boss.  How?  We are a nation that has worked out how to secure itself, just call ADT or any of the fidelity guards, remember John and Robbie – bring them too.  Then wait for the RET terrorists.  They’ll soon move on. Stop #Eskoming about and #TakeBackEskom.

Sure, in the beninging we will have zero power, nada, but give us days, literally a few days, and #MySouthAfrica will put on the POWER show of a lifetime.  Who said #NotInMyName during the #Insurrection?  We did #MySouthAfrica.

We are calling on civil society, that means you Dr Imtiaz Sooliman and Gift of the Givers, that means you Wayne Duvenage and OUTA, that means you Shan Balton and the Kathrada Foundation… come one, come all.  Work out a task team and let’s just walk in and take over.  There are 50 million of us, Why in the name of Eskom are we still eskoming about? Give us three months and we will give it back to you horrible people but on OUR TERMS.  We want KPI meetings often!

Please South Africa just fix your corner.  Grab a shovel and get to work. We just need to be led. With proper brains for proper jobs. No more money eating gluttonous set of political pigs.  The truth is that this country, like the rest of Africa, is minted. Minted!  Everyone of you thieves back off it’s our turn.  There are 50 million of us and we are more than ready to work to keep our human rights and lights.

This task team can be used again and again.  Next stop they can go handle the terrifying #WaterCrisis.  Same modus operandi. Great team of experts, great HR and a set of willing workers. #TakeBackOurWater.  Then to #Prasa #TakeBackOurTrains.  Apart from the fact that the result of having no rails means more trucks.  And more trucks on our roads means more deaths.  While the RET are blowing up railway lines, a truck driver killed nineteen children.  Please can we #TakeBackSouthAfrica?

There is lots of other news if you have the power to #ScratchTheSurface with me.  Interest rates went up by 75 basis points, that means debt just got more expensive.  There was #SowetoPride and #Sarafina turns 30.  Word on the street is that #LindiweSisulu is tipped to be Deputy President (you can groan, I did a Marge Simpson groan too.)  Ready for more?  Probably not but whoops here it is: #ZweliMkhize and #PaulMashatile are ready to take eThekwini. Wasn’t Mkhize told to step aside because of that stolen money?  Heritage Day is coming up.  Mpofu hasn’t been paid since March and argued that the presiding officer should be recused from the Public Protector hearing, because, um well basically Mpofu doesn’t like him. Zuma is still having a fight with Downer and now taking private legal action. #Steinheist is the series to watch on #Showmax. I love that we get justice through doccies, it makes me happy.  Maybe finally, someone will go to jail.  Funny numbers that empty the plates of the poor. #Steinheist. The ANC got hoofed out of NMB.  Rumours are denied that the #ThemibsaHospital CEO was placed in that position for nefarious means.  How sick are you to steal from the sick?

Across the ponds, Donald Trump might be going to jail, actually wait, Donny a’int going nowhere, but it makes great headlines.  I watched the royal funeral and couldn’t get over the queue and how very British the whole event was.  All that controversy of the Royals muted except for one guy who called out Andrew and was dragged off by the police for his non-Britishness at a very British event. Russia sends a further 300 thousand troops to Ukraine.  In Europe we are arguing about the colour of #LittleMermaid.  Hurricane Fiona doesn’t care about Hollywood.

It’s Friday – take a load reduction – but also #TakeBackEskom.  We can do this.

I’m Tonya Khoury and you’ve just scratched the surface with Acumen Media