I’ve always had a sweet spot for Julius #Malema; I think it’s because he is a marketing genius. Who will ever forget the day when the red tide entered parliament dressed in overalls and donning red berets. I don’t agree with his ideology, but you can’t help but admire a man that painted South Africa red. Although yesterday, I felt sorry for Juju. #FloydResigns.

On Wednesday, social media was filled with gossip. We already suspected Floyd was on his way to Jacob Zuma, but when the release came out for the #EFFPresser on Thursday, we held our breath for confirmation. We were not disappointed. Floyd Shivambu, the deputy president of the EFF opened with his resignation letter. He had not only resigned, but he was joining MK and uBaba. Yes, you understood me perfectly, Julius’ best friend, and the co-founder of the EFF, has left to join the man who Julius has defended for years. I mean who will ever forget the notorious #highTea when Juju (and Floyd) visited #Nkandla for a cuppa. This was, strangely enough, just before the #JulyInsurrection and when Julius told us unequivocally that Jacob was both his friend and a friend of the EFF. And now this…?

In the interview (which is in our YouTube video tomorrow), Julius looks furious while Floyd was reading out his #DearJohn. And then #Malema addressed the media himself and I thought he was close to tears. He called Floyd his brother from another mother and said he was welcome back anytime. That made me sit upright. What do you mean Juju? He’s going to an opposition party; he has betrayed you by joining a man you protected, regardless of how angry South Africa was about his behaviour. And now you are telling this oke he can come back? I almost felt sorry for you sir, but instead I smelled a rat! Are we being played again? It wouldn’t surprise me: the EFF and #MKParty are allies and they even have a written caucus together (#GNU vibes). So are they going to join forces? That would make a great deal of sense, but why not just do that? Why the fanfare? If that’s not the jig, then marra why Julius? There are many different opinions across the interweb and there is a strong one that says that Julius’ time is up. Rumours were rife about the election results and how the EFF needed an urgent change in leadership. But Malema made it categorically clear yesterday that he will never leave the EFF. He said that he would be buried in the red flag.

Let’s not forget there’s also that pesky #VBS saga that Floyd’s family is heavily implicated in. The courts have started their engines, so we can also consider that another elephant in the room. And now there are two, hey Juju? When asked about #VBS, Julius said he didn’t know anything about it. Ah, come on! When asked if he felt betrayed by Jacob, he said they never had a relationship. Yes, he actually said that. Check out YouTube for more.

But it doesn’t end there: we also learnt that several members of the party have jumped ship, not all the names are out but Jimmy #Manyi is certainly one. Ah #Manyi, you chop. This is the guy who used to run #ANN7 as a #Zupta stooge. He moved his political allegiance from the ANC, then opened his own party (ATM), which does what it says on the tin, then jumped into the red overall and now is with MK. He’s been described as a political tourist, a completely fair assessment. When money talks, loyalty walks. Politrix SA, just another brick in the wall. Social media will have you believe that Khaki Carl Niehaus is staying at the EFF and Baleka Snake Mbete will also not be changing lights from red to green. We’ll see. Guys, you know who the smartest politician in the room is, don’t you? He’s still running South Africa; our friend Jacob Zuma never left power. That much is obvious. For those who think this man is nearing retirement or operating in a vacuum, you are sadly mistaken. Listen carefully – JZ is busy!

The media would have you believe that #MK is in a shambles. There have been so many people fired and hired that one must ask if Floyd’s first question is going to be “is there anybody out there?”. The answer is: You are Floyd and your work is cut out for you on the dark side of the moon. I know I shouldn’t give this much airtime to #FloydResigns so let me leave the half-baked brick in the wall before it falls and you become comfortably numb.

Speeding along: team South Africa came home to a crescendo and we found another Olympian to steal our hearts. Bayanda Walaza, an 18-year-old matriculant and a member of the 400 metre relay team, brought home a silver! He spoke to the media of his first international trip and how fascinating it was to be in France’s Olympic village. With a smile so wide, he told us how he ate ice cream every single day and how he was overwhelmed by the new-found fame and being surrounded by stars. Endearing and definitely our feel-good story of the week, #Walaza, shine on you diamond! Olympics #TeamSA generated 124k results in less than seven days with engagements of over half a million. Well done, thank you for bringing light to our timelines.

Staying in the light, I’m not sure how #MissSouthAfrica still makes headlines, but my goodness did this pageant stay relevant the past two weeks. After the charlatan #Chidimma was removed from the competition the event continued and we were graced with #MiaLeRoux ascending to the crown. She’s the first deaf Miss SA and after watching an interview with her I was reminded of my dad. Mia has a cochlear implant that helps her hear. She lip reads and speaks perfect English. My father was the same. A cochlear made his life easier, so he could still play guitar and sing. He read lips and loved #Binnelanders because of the subtitles. You go Mia! If we thought this pageant had run dry, we were sorely mistaken.

What else can I tell you ? #UnemploymentFigures are up. Boo! The mayor of Gauteng left the room and is bound to be replaced with a not so new mayor. #Gwamanda stepped down and enter Dada #Morero. He was mayor in 2022 for 25 days and now he’s back. What scratched song are we playing here South Africa; this ketang is full of controversy, ne? That case against the #Libyans in a “military” training camp was withdrawn and the illegal foreigners were sent back home. Would this even have been a story if the 75 Libyans were Zimbabweans?

There is not a week I do not write about our children. Sadly, it’s not different today. Five-year-old Xavier Mitchell was stabbed to death by a man in his forties. This child was stabbed repeatedly. He was five! Meanwhile in Boksburg a four-month-old died at a creche. The creche is being charged with neglect. The mother picked up her lifeless son after spending just three weeks in the day care. Four months old. What are we doing to our children? Then they recovered the body of head prefect, Reza Saloojeeboy, who had drowned in the #Vaal dam. Apparently he was fishing and a wind blew some of his belongings into the water and he went after them. And that was all it took. Another child gone.

This is a depressing report isn’t it? I wish I had something local to cheer you up, but I’m left with a handful of court cases: Panga wielding pastor #Mboro appears in court today; #Cholota (Ace’s PA) was granted bail of R2500 after she fleeced SA by over 200 million. She has been flagged as a flight risk but our justice system thought a couple of grand will deter her fleeing. We’ll see. If she goes down so does Ace, so watch this space. Another half-baked brick in the wall. The #EnyobeniTavern features in the court’s to-do list too as we still ask for a toxicology report. It’s been over two years.

International media was churning out headlines like butter. #Mpox becomes a big thing as a state of emergency is called in the DRC and the first case hits Sweden. They found water on Mars – it’s underground apparently. Is there life on Mars? There are two astronauts in space that aren’t able to come home and have been told to hold on for another eight months. That story worried me, have they got enough food and water? Eight months is a pretty long delay.

Then there were moments when the Olympics were ridiculous: the breakdancer, Rachel Gunn from Australia, made me feel like I should enter the sport. She was terrible and we lapped it up. Nothing like a kangaroo hop to keep you distracted. The closing ceremony was no better than the opening, but the last Olympic medal was won by a lady in a hijab. That must have irked Macron, especially when it became one of the biggest stories. Somehow, the world became convinced that Imane #Khelif, a Muslim female boxer from Algeria, was a man. She’s not; she’s a woman, from Algeria, who’s Muslim. Did I mention that she’s from Algeria? Do you seriously think that Algeria would send a transgender person to compete? Come on! The story gained traction, bolstered by JK #Rowling and Elon #Musk’s tweets. Those interested went for each other’s throats. #Khelif was born with a Y chromosome and many said that this made her a man. To be clear she has no male bits, but has the Y chromosome. She’s also been beaten by nine other women in her career. In the Olympics she won fair and square. Yesterday she announced that court proceedings had been launched against both Rowling and Musk. Good on ya Imane. No pronouns required.

Talking about Musk, he tried to break the internet by hosting a space on X with Trump. I listened to it, all two hours of it. It was as painful as it was technologically challenged as it was boring. Two megalomaniacs blew smoke up each other’s rear ends for 120 minutes. Trump said that the world was taking its rapists and murderers and sending them to America; he said it was becoming so bad that many countries are now sending their lazy people to the US, too. #Musk chimed in and cooed in agreement. Trump made up numbers and Musk endorsed them. The end game? Don’t vote for #Kamala. Why? She’s not very bright is what they said and no friend of the Jews. Are you kidding me? Isn’t it the current administration the one that is arming Israel to the teeth?

This week Putin told us that the West was fighting Russia via a proxy with Ukraine. He said that the weaponry is all from the West and without the West there would be no war with Ukraine. He has got a point. We also saw Netanyahu and Ben Ghivr cause more deaths and unimaginable cruelty. A Palestinian school was flattened by Israel during morning prayers. In one disturbing headline, a woman gave birth to twins and within days a precision strike from Israel killed her and the two babies before the husband could return with a registration certificate. Palestinian men are being raped to death in prisons and the world just condemns, or looks away. Why are we still live streaming a genocide? I watched a video of a man holding up the only survivor from the school. He called out the Arab world for turning its back on its brothers. He asked God to punish the Arabs as much as he asked God to punish Israel. I felt that.

Scratching the surface of the media this week has been terrifying. Who is really to blame for all this discourse we are seeing on our screens? You and I both know what the real story is, but let’s face it we are just another brick in the wall. The world definitely needs an education and we don’t need no thought control. Apologies to “Pink” Floyd.  I’m Tonya Khoury, take the weekend off!