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The Cat is Out The Bag. #FatCat

Date: 02.20.2024

Written By

Tonya Khoury

I write this with a view of Istanbul. The wonderful menagerie of a city. A city covered in colour and people that are always happy to see you. Did I tell you there are cats everywhere in Istanbul? And each and every one of them is fat. They are mostly strays but … no cat goes hungry in this city. #FatCats.

I sat in a street near Taksim and watched a gogo in her nineties, her back hunched, walk out of her block of flats.  Soon after, the cats corralled her. She could barely walk, but you could also tell that this outing was part of her daily routine. She had dry and wet cat food and lovingly shared her treats among a good twenty cats. There were two kittens up on a higher level. They were meowing for her attention and all I could think was that she would not make it up such a steep incline. What I didn’t expect was for her to be a crack shot as she threw the food up the building, and it landed right by the kittens. Turkey is run by a dictator that many don’t care for, and, a bit like us, they are fed up with their political regime. But here’s the thing, they’ve learnt to work around politicians. And I pray that we will do the same in time. Oh Turkey, you magnificent country filled with ubuntu. I really feel at home here amongst the wonderfully pretty cats. There is so much I can tell you about Istanbul, but this is the weekly report so I have to focus on depressing stuff instead. The #CATastrophes.

Watching the news from a thousand miles away is surreal. I’m not sure what is big news and what is just another line entry in a major online news site. Regardless, join me as I scratch and purr through the surface of news from a faraway land on what appears to be just another #CatScratchPatch.

Yesterday the news broke that the #Marshalltown building was on fire and the last count showed 80 dead occupants. They said the fire started with a candle, they were wrong. It started because people had highjacked the building.  Living in a desperate situation, they make fires indoors to keep warm from the cold. Suddenly #HijackedBuildings became the center of our attention. But what an awful thing to see, the mothers looking for their children; the scramble for life in a hole of debris. We are told these are foreigners, as if that matters. The xenophobic and electioneering narrative started to unfold as politicians scrambled over the scene to make their voices heard. So sick. Such hiss-steria. Trending conversations focused on the recent shambles of an election in #Zimbabwe and how this influx of foreign nationals will grow. I read a statistic that there are 15m Zim Nationals in South Africa. This is not a new story, this is just dirty cat litter. And, of course, who turns up when there are no alternatives: #GiftOfTheGivers, can we please beg, and I mean beg, Imtiaz Sooliman to take over our country. We are not doing this again.

This is our top story of the week, as it should be, and it’s a call to end the racism on foreigners and a need for ubuntu. I get that we are under-resourced, and I hear that we are broke. I see that we have nothing for ourselves, let alone others, but then I think of those kittens stranded high up calling for food and shelter and how a ninety-year-old keeps them alive and happy with a handful of love.

There is so much news this week. We were devastated by the loss of #DerekWatts, the man who we asked to ruin our Sunday nights. He passed on quietly and with integrity our cool cat Derek. Integrity, a trait that is nowhere to be seen in politics.

Do you think it’s #ElectionTime? I read more about crumbling #MoonShotPacks and another mayor on the verge of getting the hoof. I’ll say it again, why do we need mayors? On top of that the new public protector was appointed. #KholekaGcaleka took her seat hot off the heels of some serious questions about #Phalaphala. We are now being told that the couch money was a deposit, I suppose shoving it under the bed doesn’t help, it had to be a couch did it? Do the media assume we are dumb or don’t they care? This is the narrative keeps spinning and we stop winning. #Ramatress

Then we had the #SenzoTrial, my goodness what a shambles this is. We are told by experts that #Senzo was dead within minutes and that his body was taken to the hospital. This is a far cry from Kelly Khumalo’s story that he died in her arms in the car on the way to the hospital. So, basically, everyone is lying.  #Senzo’s so-called friends couldn’t tell the truth, not for love or money, even if you slapped a lie detector on them. Speaking of love, money and love cats, don’t even get me started on #DrNandi in the #ThaboBester case. Get this cat, she applied for bail again and told us what an upstanding citizen she was (apart from the small thing of trading in dead bodies and planning major escape plans with her rapist lover). How sick is sick?

There was an earth tremor / quake, but we don’t like the word quake in SA, we prefer a little tremor, that sounds less dramatic. Unlike #AcesMagashule’s new party which promises to be a den of iniquity for all the thieves from the ANC. I can’t believe the gall of this man, he’s destroyed provinces and now expects votes. This amongst the news that Independent Candidates can take their place on the ballot paper. Please Imtiaz, we are begging.

There is other harrowing news: lawyers are on trial for stealing money from disabled children, a mother deliberately burnt her baby daughter to death and a cop was arrested for killing his girlfriend. There was a revolting farm murder and now the so called “struggle song” is blamed for this heinous crime. Let me make this clear, songs don’t kill people, people kill people.

We hosted the #BricsSummit and the rand could have sky-rocketed as many countries expressed their sincere interest in joining the conglomerate of BRICS countries. Did that happen, of course not, #Godongwane, our #FinanceMinister, put those rumours to bed and the rand tanked. He just needed to say “I don’t know” and we would have been free sailing, but a firm “no” came out of his mouth as the rand plummeted.

Probably the only good news is the #Springboks walloped the Kiwis. #PhatJoe and his serious arrogance made sure he was canceled even if with an American accent. #CanceledCat. #KennyKunene was labeled a misogynist. The #Department of Defense was hacked (not good) and #Nesquick left our shelves, not a sweet move bru.

So much international news to cover. #PrinceAndrew, the pedo, was welcomed back into the royal family. Trump is trying to get re-elected so he can pardon himself. I’m not joking. There was a military coup in Gabon and Putin’s #Prigozhin was killed in a plane crash (presumably assassinated). We have to end with something cheerful, perhaps a question. What will Elon and Zuks do? Still no date in sight for the catfight. Although that would be a purrfect end to this report. #LoveCats.

I’m Tonya Khoury and thank you for scratching the surface with me and Acumen Media.


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